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Ghost House

by Harrison Lemke

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pines and prairie grass pregnant with the long past. never going back to that house. but it's in me, and it's never coming out. i know my bible well enough to know the score: ain't got no home in this world anymore. dreamt of our neighborhood. all the roads we never took. drawer of old cassettes keyboard demo arabesque i know my bible, genesis three twenty-four: ain't got no home in this world anymore. swimming pool i nearly drowned. father's hands, i'm safe and sound. got stuck on something so dumb i can't explain to anyone. i hope it's safe somewhere hidden in your tender care. i know my bible, revelation twenty-two four: ain't got no home in this world anymore.
Need Help 03:28
fetal position in my favorite chair, feeling unwell but as yet unaware. sledding down the back stairs just to pass the time. oh, what earthly happiness was mine. it's years before i'll say it for myself but i need help. i need help. christmas eve, the same old altar call never made much difference after all. backseat, engine-warm, i'm heavy bored, crushed beneath the spirit of the Lord. i'm sick to death of living for myself but i need help. i need help. dark pines hide the horizon line. they shadow my eyes; oh, but they're friends of mine. made believe i saw you in the dark. made believe my soul had felt a spark. still eat and drink what doesn't satisfy. still wonder, did the old me really die? i'm stuck inside a myth i made myself and i need help. i need help, help.
i can hear my mother yelling on the telephone. i can hear my mother yelling on the telephone. i can't tell what she's yelling though. i lie down with my head next to the aquarium. i lie on the black sofa, head next to the aquarium, let it fill up with the burble and hum. i remember you on christmas morning, some obscure CD in your hand. i can still see you in your socked feet, CD in your hand. you were all i wanted to be; now i need a new plan.
childhood stopped up, stony, but i was still a child. the idol finished speaking. my heart grew black and wild. the dark pines still hem in the house but they can no longer keep the darker things out. legend of zelda: full-body shivers of recognition at the roiling fanfare, at our hero's face, the hunted expression — the demon king with his searching eyes searches us out, and now we're marked for life. and will we ever see another holiday? will we ever see another holiday?
god of my childhood: your praises were on my tongue before i could tell bad from good. you marked with a sign that only you could read. you saved my life before i knew there was a need. church on sunday like pulling teeth, small painful concession to all you've done for me. i feel your spirit over me in the branches. and i've never been one to take any chances. when you're happy i feel your delight and when you're not i'm drowned beneath your waves. you hold your hand out, but i can't tell left from right; is it to damn me, or to save? am i the favored son, or the hated? will i be beloved or berated? how can i say? i need you either way. i need you either way either way
in the end what's the difference between a memory and a dream? it's all as good as fiction to anyone but you and me. i went back there recently. the house we knew is gone. i mean, there's a house there, but i'm the one who can't move on. sing me a song of zion. you formed me out of dust and wind, put a star inside my chest. i'm sorry that i let you down but i'm ready for the rest. sing me a song of zion.


six songs about putting old demons to rest and moving on into the light


released April 15, 2019

these songs were written in late 2018 and early 2019 and recorded at home by harrison in early 2019, except the version of "ghost house" which was written and recorded sometime in fall 2018.

recorded using undoubtedly patented tascam 4-track technology

deo gratias


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Harrison Lemke Austin, Texas

tape-hiss symphonies to God

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